So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
bring money and cleavage
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
