I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
