yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
