we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I understand Curling. That high.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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