Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
