Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex.. http://tfl.nu/ynb7
  Replies (121) Good night (4600) Bad night (63303)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain. http://tfl.nu/y5sc
  Replies (32) Good night (4141) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet http://tfl.nu/kl5a
  Replies (23) Good night (3789) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer... http://tfl.nu/txcz
  Replies (20) Good night (4609) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds http://tfl.nu/uf3z
  Replies (11) Good night (4881) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot. http://tfl.nu/icc0
  Replies (7) Good night (3278) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me. http://tfl.nu/jba1
  Replies (5) Good night (2349) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store... http://tfl.nu/b4g4
  Replies (4) Good night (2159) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact. http://tfl.nu/ir67
  Replies (12) Good night (2233) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome http://tfl.nu/b710
  Replies (10) Good night (2091) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom. (484): I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you. http://tfl.nu/hypz
  Replies (7) Good night (4701) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3 http://tfl.nu/ef92
  Replies (5) Good night (792) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI http://tfl.nu/re47
  Replies (1) Good night (878) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.

  (682): View more from Texas

  Only you could get away with that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win. (682): Only you could get away with that. http://tfl.nu/0z6o
  Replies (4) Good night (848) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night http://tfl.nu/j0p5
  Replies (1) Good night (504) Bad night (106)

Randomize