I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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