this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.