Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota

(415): View more from California

everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy

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(702): View more from Nevada

I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...

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(319): View more from Iowa

just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.

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(845): View more from New York

he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"

(845): View more from New York

where do u find these people!?

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(806): View more from Texas

Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.

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(475): View more from Connecticut

THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.

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