i just had sex bonerless
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?