they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?