Can i not drive my cunt home
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
