just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
