It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
