At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
