p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
