dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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