Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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