Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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