Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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