She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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