...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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