Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
