I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
