We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize