So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
