what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
