Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
