I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
