This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
