Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I need moral support for this bender
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
