Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
