I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
