i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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