Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
