doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
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Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
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it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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