I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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