she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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