i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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