why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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