There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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