There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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