if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
