I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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