dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
