I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
