I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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