Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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