You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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