i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
