it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
