well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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