If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize