I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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