he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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