I hate your face
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize