So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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