I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
