i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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