I puked a lego.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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