how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
