no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
