Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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